Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize