So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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