So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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