If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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