And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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