this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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