My balls are so social today.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
