You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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