How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize