You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
false alarm. still invincible.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
