So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
