I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize