I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
