who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
