your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
