im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
