If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
