I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
