I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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