I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
