fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
