Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
