i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
