My friends, they love my intelligence
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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