Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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