Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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