I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
