i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
