some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Someone came in the potted fern
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
