Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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