what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
