Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
