I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
