I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
