have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
