just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize