I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
