can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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