it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize