We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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