In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
