"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
