when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
