C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
