I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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