is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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