Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
