We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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