I got chris browned last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
