Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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