youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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