he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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