the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
