I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize