There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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