Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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