So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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