Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize