Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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