do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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