Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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