the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
