Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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