I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
