this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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