True but thats because hes a fetus.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
