Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He shit in the fireplace
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
