I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
