The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
